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Friday Questions - April 8

Last week I posted some questions and answers that I got through my Q&A Service. It's a site where anyone can ask me anything and they can be anonymous or leave their name. I added the app to the right side of this blog so you can simply ask me anything you like.

Q: born and raised in Tacompton, WA. whats up with no Teriyaki joints in Bend? do you by any chance know of a good substitute?

What up Tacompton! I was not aware that WA had the Teriyaki capital of the world within its boarders. I know that BOR Jr always gets chicken teriyaki at Mio Sushi when we go there. I've gotten the Salmon teriyaki there a few times but I recommend you ask for light sauce as they tend to have a heavy hand.

I know you can get Teriyaki at Kona Mix Plate, Sumi's, and Soba. Stop your whining. At least you can get some teriyaki in Bend. I haven't had a good Vindaloo in ages. We need Indian food!

Q: Just how much do you love yourself?

Great question. There is nothing more that I like to talk about than myself. I'm the best...ARO-OUND...Nothings ever gonna keep me down!! Look, I like what I like. If you don't like it, get the hell out.

Q: 10 Barrel. Pulled Pork Pizza. Dude. Gotta have it.

Not really a question. Pulled pork on a pizza is not something that I'm ever going to order. I have had the pulled pork sandwich and a pepperoni pizza and they are both good. I don't have an official review ready just yet though.

Q: if you had to choose between The Sagebrush Classic and the Ghost Tree dinner - what would you choose?

I've never been invited to either so they can both go to hell.

Seriously, Come on! Give me the hook up! I want to go to both!! I'd love to do a write up on either. Fans, work on getting me invited will ya?

Q: Do you know why Hardy's Hotwings and Hamburgers closed, stoped selling wings, and changed their name? That was a very bad move, in my opinion...

I've only had Hardy's wings a couple of times. They were good. I've had their burger and didn't really think it was anything special. I'll have to give them another try now that they are just focusing on the burgers and ice cream. Maybe they are running from the bank and changed their name like all the furniture stores that are constantly going out of business just to reopen two weeks later. I want to open up a furniture store called "Going Out of Business Sale." I mean, that would be the permanent sign on the building. Love it.

Q: Two questions on your most recent post (Olive Garden): 1. how much was the total bill? 2. was your waitress as hot as the one in the youtube video? If so, it was worth every penny.

I put the price of each dish and drink next to them. If you run Windows (which EVERYONE SHOULD...seriously just shut your damn Apple IIc using ass and get a real machine) just go to Programs > Accessories > Calculator. Add it up!

Our WAITER was alright, not hot but doable...if you know what I mean.

Q: Best resturant in bend OR downtown? Is it a good place for children? - AWESOME LADY

I hate "best" lists. That's why I haven't done a second one. My first Best Restaurants of Bend was sort of fun to write but it's just my opinion. You all are fools for listening to any food reviewer. Of course, I am always right so maybe you should just follow me like drones.

It is too difficult for me to say who has the Best Restaurant in Downtown Bend. I have not been to all of them. I have never eaten at the D&D, who knows, they could be the best. If you're old as dirt, your favorite should be Pine Tavern. Slightly younger than the old as dirt crowd, your favorite should be Zydeco.

I just call it like I see it folks. Zydeco is hella good but damn if the patrons aren't all over the hill. I'm always the youngest in there. I really like going to Joolz, Blacksmith, Zydeco, and Toomies. None of which I would classify as a good place for children. A good place for children is to be in their seat with arms folded sitting quietly. If you pull that off, then you're the tops in my book. Quit catering to your kids. They need to buck up and eat something other than Dino Nuggets or mini wieners. It won't kill them to try some truffle oil mac'n cheese. Get them off the microwave diet AWESOME LADY!

Best kid friendly restaurants downtown are El Caporal, Soba, and Deschutes Brewery.

Q: best breakfast in bend

Again, this is not a question. ASK me anything! It's the first damn word! ASK. Can a brother get a question mark?? Alright rude butt, I still like Jake's Diner. Cheap, fast, huge portions. Jake's is my favorite restaurant on the East Side and it's TOTALLY East Side!

The Wife LOVES the Breakfast Club and will slap me if I don't mention them.

Q: Where is the best place for Easter Brunch, you heathen!

I have no idea. I don't celebrate Easter. I don't even understand it. There is no consistency with this day and that just pisses me off. Sometimes it's in March, or the end of April. There is a mutant rabbit running around neighborhoods, breaking into houses, stealing food and then hiding it in places and if you don't find it, it rots and stinks up the house.

This entire thing doesn't make any sense. Don't go out to eat on days like this. Make some deviled eggs with your left over colored eggs (wait, can we still say colored eggs? Is that cool? I don't think we should be talking about this), make up a batch of twice baked potatoes, asparagus, and get yourself some sort of glazed ham. That's how you celebrate Easter. You can't have Easter with EA*T.

Hey is Deschutes Brewery a child friendly place?

Judging by the ALWAYS wandering child walking around like he/she works there, yeah it's pretty kid friendly. There is an battalion of high chairs by the L bar at all times and the staff is quick to clear out the huge mess made by all the infants, toddlers, and drunkers that make a mess at the tables. Yup, quite kid friendly.

The kids menu is pretty solid with your normal bar food kids menu. The kids pizza is money.

Q: We live in Portland, will be in bend for our sons 22nd birthday, and would like to find a unique. restraint to celebrate at. In the past we have gone to Benihana , the Melting Pot, Gustav’s, City Grill. Thanks for the help

I haven't been to any of those places. It's your son's 22nd Bday. He wants to drink without you guys. Go to Deschutes cause you're from Portland and you have to go there for a sampler tray, then head over to Blacksmith for a steak. After dinner you and your husband/wife head back to the Phoenix in since your 22 yr old is living in a tiny apartment with some stoner roommate (yeah, that bong is his roommates, honest) leaving your son to party it up at Blacksmith After Dark. Whooop Whooop!

You have a great website and I love reading where to get great eats in Bend as there is no other website like it for the area! My question is where to eat for Easter Brunch this year? So many places plan poorly for this big occasion.

Obviously I'm not the fastest to respond to anything. My bad. Hope you had a good holiday.

Best buffet??

Ugh. How about you sit down to a regular portioned meal instead of shoveling piles of mashed potatoes trip after trip trying to time it just right so you can get an extra thick slice of prime rib from the guy that cuts em fat? Buffets are not good. I can't tell you how much they disgust me.

Everyone touching those tongs with their dirty ass hands, the "sneeze" guards are about as good of security as the Smile Greeter at Walmart, and the staff could give a damn about the tub of egg salad they need to get out onto the line where it gets to sit for hours. Yumm!

How do I get the recipe from VictorianCafe for Pistachio/banana pancakes?

I know one thing, you're off to a bad start.

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