Friday Fun

I asked on Twitter and Facebook if I should write a food review or if I should just rant. Apparently no one actually cares for my food opinions and would rather have me just talk some shit about whatever I like or better yet, don't like. Ok.

When you sit down at a restaurant, do you pick up your knife and fork and start tapping them on the table and glasses and relive those memories of playing drums in your KISS tribute band in your parent's garage? Then you do the classic one arm drum style and say "look def leppard" while trying to impress your date? No? You don't play with your knife and fork like this because 1) you're an adult 2) these utensils are going to end up in your mouth 3) it would be rude and annoying to those around you.

So, why do you think this is acceptable behavior with your chopsticks? Eh, don't do that. Don't let your kids do this either. Its stupid and pisses me off. Just leave the chopsticks in their paper envelope and ask for a fork because I know your stupid ass doesn't know how to use them properly in the first place, order your california roll and edamame and shut the hell up.

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There was a letter to the editor in The Source Weekly a couple weeks ago by Doug LaPlaca, president of VisitBend. I like VisitBend and at the time I read his letter to the community in support of being courteous to our visitors for all the events in Bend and especially to the bicyclists that will be on the road, I agreed with him. Some 5k visitors to Bend is a good thing and can stimulate our economy in a minuscule way for a couple of weeks.

Of course, that's not really helping me out the other 50 weeks of the year and now that I've spent the last few weeks "sharing" the road with bicyclists I just want to say....GET OFF THE DAMN ROAD!!! Seriously, I CAN'T get to work or to my house in a timely manner with all the damn bike races. Here's a thought. Start your stupid race after 9am and finish that shit before 4pm if you're going to do the race on a weekday and block traffic for it. Or keep the races to the weekend.

I conducted a survey over the past 10 years and have learned that 87.8% of employed citizens of Bend drive to work between 8 and 9 am. Look, I have a car. I buy gas for my car. I buy gas for my car using money that I made at my job. The same job that I need to drive to in order to get said money. I'm fortunate enough to be one of the 80% of employed Bendites and I'd like to keep my job. But it is getting difficult when I can't get to work on time.

Also, when I'm driving on the road, I stay in between the yellow line on the left and the white line on the right. I don't drive ON EITHER of these lines. Hey environment friendly douche, feel free to stay in between the white bike lane line and the damn curb mmmkay. Riding on the white line is just begging for some rubbin. If there is a car behind me, we don't drive side by side, we make a single line. So when you and your bike buddies are side by side, I really want to give you a little bump. "And rubbin', son, is racin'"

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This comment came in on my review of the meal I ate at Greg's Grill like 8 years ago.

"Can you be more of a "tool" with your review? I have no idea what you mean by your analogy of the size of the place. I don't want my reviews of a restaurant by someone that thinks that Frodo rules...

I didn't read the rest of your review after you discredited yourself as a "normal" human being."

Alright champ, you can't say that you don't know what I mean by my analogy but then us a character from the same movie in your comment! You DID get the reference, liar face. And you definitely did read the rest of my review. I know you did, I have analytics bitch.

"Loved the Bartenders at your place and there drinks,Derek is a real talent and his art work was unbelieveable.Can't wait to get back this summer."

I always enjoy when people send in comments like they are emailing the owners. How stupid are you? Typing into a comment field is NOT going to magically send the restaurant an email from your Hotmail account. At what point in my review did you get the opinion that I own this place? I don't even know Derek and if I did, I'd probably not like him.

"Honestly, coming from LA and SF fresh food background, there are really NO decent High Class restaurant, just expensive and un-imaginative chemical cuisine. Having said that, High Tides is pretty good, though. Mostly, I'd rather cook with fresh ingredients at home, healthy for both body and wallet."

OOOO we are so honored to have your LA and SF palette in Bend. Seriously, who the EFF asked you? My blog, mine. Stick your LA and SF right up your AS... uh ... S. I love that with your amazing culinary history that you choose High Tides as your restaurant of choice. They are lucky to have your patronage.

"One of the worst pizzas I have ever had. It arrived cold and when I opened up the box I couldn't believe how small the pizza was. Twenty two dollars wasted. On a brighter note, the delivery person was nice."

I got nothing for you. On a brighter note, I really like that you spelled out twenty two dollars instead of just $22. I don't like numbers. Sutpid diggits!

"hope that dinner plate tastes better than it looks.... "

I hoped your comment read better than they did.

I'm still loving the comments and emails that I get. Keep em coming. Don't have a BORing weekend!

Deschutes Barrel Aged Tasting AND Upcoming Events

Oh Deschutes Brewery, how I love thee so. Today I received a Tip List of what's going on with Deschutes Brewery in the next couple of months. I also realized that I never got the photos of the last event that I attended, the Barrel Aged Tasting, posted online. For $40 per person you get to sample (all you can drink - please drink responsibly) a variety of beers that have been soaking in bourbon or wine barrels which give them a high class taste. I mean, they can't use a bourbon barrel twice so why not throw some great beer in there and make it even better? I love beer. I love bourbon. Win, win, win.


They also do a great job of making sure you get something to eat. This last time they had a huge variety of mini burgers with a huge selection of buns and toppings. I wish they would have had some recommended combos like "Turtle burger on rye bun with the raspberry ketchup". I'm kidding...they didn't have rye buns.

I selected the rabbit, gator, and venison burgers. When is the next time I'm going to get to try gator? Why not go for it.


I actually didn't care for the gator at all. But the rest of the grub was great. I liked the potato skins. Who doesn't like tater skins?




I absolutely love going to anything at the mountain room. Barrel Aged Tastings, The Crab Boil, and the Beer Dinners (and I also finished at the final table of one of their poker tournaments) are all great. If you never went to any of these, I highly recommend that you budget for it.


Upcoming Deschutes Brewery Events:

1) Breedlove Festival, sponsored by Deschutes Brewery – July 31-Aug. 1. Musical line-up includes Dire Straits’ David Knopfler, Grammy winner Ed Gerhard, and Country/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductee Chris Hilman, all of whom play Breedlove guitars, which are manufactured in Bend, Oregon.

2) Farmer’s Feast Beer Dinner @ Deschutes Brewery in Bend – August 28th @ 6PM. This beer dinner pairs the freshest ingredients from Central Oregon farms with Deschutes Brewery’s finest beers. Meet the farmers for a journey from till to table. $55/person includes beer and gratuity. RSVP to Winter at 541-385-8606.

3) Friday Farmer’s Market menu special every Friday @ the Bend Pub. Deschutes Brewery chefs walk to the downtown Farmer’s Market every Wednesday to see what’s fresh, and bring it back to the Pub to create a special dish for lunch and dinner on Friday.

4) Oyster Racing Series, sponsored by Deschutes Brewery. Urban Adventure Race coming to a town near you? August 15th = Denver; Aug. 29th = Seattle; Sept. 19th = Portland; Sept. 26 = San Francisco; Oct. 11 = Austin; Oct. 24 = Nashville.

5) Little Woody Barrel Aged Brew Festival in downtown Bend – September 12, noon to 10PM. This festival will feature hand-crafted, wood-aged beer as well as one specialty brew from all of Central Oregon’s seven breweries. Live music, wood carving exhibition and beer tastings, on the lawn of the Deschutes Historical Society on the corner of Wall Street and Idaho. $6/person includes commemorative glass. Tasting package available for $15. Call Cindy Tintle for more information: 541-323-0964.

6) Upcoming Beer Releases: Jubelale (October 1), Hop Trip (October), The Abyss (November)

7) Jubelale release party @ Portland Pub – Oct. 1. Meet the artist who designed the Jubelale label and poster during First Thursday Art Walk at Deschutes Brewery in Portland’s Pearl District.

8) The Abyss 2009 release party in Bend and Portland – November. Exact date and details TBD. Stay tuned!

Brother Jon's Bend Oregon

Brother Jon's Public House

Brother Jon's Public House is open in the old Makhana's coffee shop location on Galveston. Jon and Steve (formerly with the Downtowner) are open for business with a full bar, 5 beers on tap including one of my favorites, Terminal Gravity's IPA, and familiar staff since they've hired all ex Deschutes Pub employees - it feels like I was eating at Deschutes Brewery like 4 years ago.

Their menu consists of sandwiches, soups/salads, apps, and doesn't have an item over $10 which is great for me. Another plus is that pints are only $3.50. That beats the $4.50 I'm paying at most places, and with my consumption, I can't afford that extra buck per pint.

On my first visit it was recommended that I go with the club. House roasted turkey, ham, bacon, cheese on toasted bread with lettuce, tomato, red onion, and mayo. $8.50


This photo is actually from my friend's plate and is the regular club. I made some crack about how a club should have avocado and sure enough mine came out with it. I love avocado on a club. It just brings it all together. But I thought I'd show the photo from the version without the avocado.

For a club, this bitch is solid! The bacon is thick, the portions are huge, and the price is spot on. It IS very similar to the club from the Downtowner and looking at comparison photos you can see why. BUT, since I can easily find a table at Brother Jon's without having to wedge into the tightest of overcrowded spots (like at The Downtowner), can play a round of darts for free, and order a tanquerey and tonic, I will go to Brother Jon's over The Downtowner in a heartbeat. Also, since Krista's is not delivering the club in nearly the same quality they were last Summer, I have to declare a new King of the Club for Bend Oregon. Congrats Brother!

The wife ordered The Captain Jack Sparrow. Pulled pork, ham, pineapple, and sweet onion simmered in pineapple-rum sauce and served on a kaiser with melted pepperjack and mayo. $8.50 (all the sandwiches on the menu are $8.50)


I got a taste and it is gooood. Pork and pineapple just go so well together.

On my next visit the special was a turkey, bacon, ranch, and swiss sandwich for $8.50. I decided to go for it.

Hot cheese melted over crispy bacon and turkey in some sort of heavenly fusion just makes me giddy like a school girl. I liked it. Could have used some avocado but hey, that's just me.

Unlike the club, I was able to finish this sandwich but still wanted to take a nap an hour later. For the ladies, the club is not too crunchy that it hurts the inside of your mouth, I know thats an issue for many of my readers.

Brother Jon's Public House
1227 NW Galveston Ave.
Bend, OR 97701
541-306-3321

The Deschutes Brewery Sagebrush Classic Feast

TOP WORLD CHEFS MEET IN BEND, OREGON TO HELP CHILDREN AND FAMILIES

The Deschutes Brewery Sagebrush Classic Feast and the Golf Will Be First-Rate and, As Always, It’s the Community That Will Take Home the Biggest Prize

BEND, Ore. – What sort of event is so powerful that it attracts 18 of the world’s most celebrated chefs – all to a summer gathering in Bend, Oregon?

It would have to be big on culinary excellence but, even more so, it would have to do a lot of good. So it’s no surprise these top chefs will converge on Bend on July 17th for the 21st annual Deschutes Brewery Sagebrush Classic. They’ll be lending a hand to Deschutes Children’s Foundation – an exceptional organization that last year hosted nearly 70,000 client visits at its four collaborative, rent-free campuses where 29 different nonprofit organizations serve kids and families.

From hot spots like Washington D.C., New Orleans, Kansas City and Denver – and even from Hawaii, Vietnam and Thailand – along with some of Bend’s own local stars, these chefs return enthusiastically to ply their trade, enjoy camaraderie with peers and support a marvelous cause.

“Every year, these exceptional chefs amaze us with their presence and participation,” said Jan Eggleston, executive director of Deschutes Children’s Foundation. “We know the event is outstanding and fun for everyone, but they always tell us it’s a joy for them to support an organization that helps so many children.”

The 2009 Sagebrush Classic is set for July 17-18 at Bend Oregon’s Broken Top Club. The first day will feature a fierce but fun best ball golf tournament on the challenging and exquisite Broken Top course. The second day brings a food and beer pairing feast without peer, all prepared and served at the beautiful Broken Top setting. The 18 celebrity chefs, all of whom participate without being paid, will set up outdoor booths to prepare and personally serve small-plate dishes to more than 1,000 guests.

To date, the Sagebrush Classic has distributed approximately $2 million that is disbursed to nonprofits that serve children and families through a unique partnership with Deschutes Children’s Foundation. DCF has been facilitating the work of other nonprofits that meet this mission since 1990.

Individual tickets for the Saturday feast are $200. Please call 800-601-8123 regarding golf teams, tables and any ticket questions.

About the Deschutes Brewery Sagebrush Classic
The Deschutes Brewery Sagebrush Classic is a golf tournament and culinary celebration held each summer in the spectacular mountain town of Bend, Oregon. The primary beneficiary of the event is Deschutes Children's Foundation, which helps support area charities assist at-risk and needy families and children in Central Oregon. Visit http://www.sagebrush.org for more information about the two-day event.

About Deschutes Brewery
Located in beautiful Bend, Oregon, Deschutes Brewery overlooks the wild and scenic Deschutes River. It also brews an impressive collection of award-winning craft beers. Starting as a local brew pub in downtown Bend in 1988, Deschutes Brewery now sells beer across the western U.S. and recently opened a second public house in Portland, Oregon’s Pearl District. Deschutes Brewery’s craft beers range from local favorites Mirror Pond Pale Ale and Black Butte Porter to adventurous brews like Hop Trip and The Abyss. For more information about Deschutes Brewery and its award-winning craft beers, please visit http://www.DeschutesBrewery.com.