Friday Rant - Beavers vs Ducks
In the age of Tivo and DVRs it is very easy to record a sporting event. I like to record sporting events especially when I have a weeknight obligation that forces me to interrupt watching the greatest Civil War game of all time as well as a Thursday NFL game. The NFL game obviously was not that important especially when its just the Bills vs the Jets. But when you're in first place in a pickem pool like I am, every game counts.
So I like I was saying, I had something important to do last night that I could NOT get out of...trust me I tried. The Wife put her cute little foot down and said - "You're going." Look, I'm a man, I do what I want....normally. She won this round.
No problem, set the tivo to record the games and the shows after (you have to record at least an hour after any game - I learned that lesson watching a crazy Blazer game that I missed the second overtime victory because of a DVR foul).
Just as I'm leaving this event, douchehead behind me says "Beavers are up at the half."
I want to wind up and punch dickfaces like this tool right in the gut so hard that they poop a little. Not a lot, just enough to make them know that they just shat themselves a little and I made them.
"But why BOR, why is this annoying to you?" - Loyal Reader/Fan
Thanks for asking. Doucheface is NOT a real fan. A real fan doesn't check the score of a game this big on his phone. A real fan wouldn't then RUIN it for everyone else that was smart enough to record the game.
"But some people don't have DVRs" - Little girl with pigtails
Ahhh that's cute. Have you ever heard of a VCR? Yeah, they had those before DVRs. If you don't have a DVR, you have a VCR and a stockpile of blank VHS tapes that you buy in bulk on isle 14 at Walmart. You probably have a copy of Point Break on top of said VCR that you checked out from the library.
People that want to watch the games in their entirety will record these games on their recording devices. Douchee' with his stupid denim jacket checking his cell phone for the recent updates and announcing it to all in earshot is NOT how I want to get my sports updates. Its rude, inconsiderate and quite frankly dangerous. I really wanted to trip this chump and make him look stupid. Then I'd do one of those cool about to fight things and spit in my hand and say "lets do this" or "bring it."
Just keep your mouth shut or whisper the score to your buddy or whoever. Just show them the phone but please be considerate to those around you. Hearing that the Beavers were up at the half pissed me off. I went home and turned on the game. I also taped up paper across the bottom of the tv so I couldn't see the ESPN ticker and see the score of the Jets' game as I was going to watch that next. But I fast forwarded through most of the first half stopping to see the scoring plays here and there. Real fans have a hard time watching a sporting event that they already know the outcome to.
I try so hard not to hear who won a PPV boxing match so I can catch the replay on the following Saturday on HBO. Its quite difficult sometimes but when it works out, its like I got paid $60 to watch the fight.
Once I was at this party and this guy shows up. The conversation went to sports and he was like "Oh man, did you see that game" which had just ended before he arrived at the party. I said "please don't say anything at all about it. I'm recording it and really want to watch it. Please!"
He said - "don't worry, I won't tell you who won but it went to triple overtime"
He almost got slapped. That just ruined the entire game AND first 2 overtimes. What an asshat. I told him that he just did, he didn't get it. I ignored him for the rest of the night, got drunk, and bitched about it for years...including right now.
If you're out in public, not watching the game, keep your cell phone updates to yourself. I have a phone with the internets. If I wanted to know the score, I'd check. But I don't, so don't abuse my ears with your wanna be news flash.