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7.20.2006

BOR on the Road - Plane Snack

Yeah so here's a look into my glamorous lifestyle. Flying out of Redmond to SF is a real treat especially when you're treated like a king by United Air. Let me show you what I mean...



Yeah that's right, not only did they give me 8.5 ml of spring water from Dannon (don't they make yogurt) but they also provided me with a single serving of PLANE SNACK. What the hell is a PLANE SNACK?!?! Seriously? I must be in heaven. No more delicious peanuts for me, no more pretzel snack mix, no more edible food. Nope, I'm big time now, I get PLANE SNACK. MMMMM MMMM good!

Lordy, plane snack....I ate two pieces of plan snack and it made me drink the last of my 8.5 ml of yogurt water.

Hey, can I post a request...nay, a favor if you will, to anyone that might possibly read this in the future? Who the hell do you think you are by reclining your seat on a plane? Are we really that desperate for 3 more inches of room that we are willing to yank 3 inches from your fellow human being behind you?

I hate you for putting your seat back, I want to kick you in the back of the head but I can't because my knees are locking into position just below the tray table.

Think about this. The people in the second to last row are asked by the flight attendant to please not recline since the people in the last row can not. It's bad enough they rest their heads against the toilet wall and get to smell your anus as you depart.

Now, this makes the second to last row...the last row! They can not recline their seats cause it's unfair to the people behind them and BRAVO to you who do not torture the poor toilet guard.

Since the second to last row is asked not to recline, why not tell the third to last row not to recline. Then, the fourth, fifth, sixth, and so on. You get the idea.

Basically, DO NOT RECLINE YOUR DAMN SEAT!!! When I get rich I'm going to give the person in front of me cash if they do not recline. Well, I'll randomly select someone cause I'll be in first class or on my own plane...with my own brand of Plane Snack made with diamonds...they make my dookie twinkle!


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